Going Around the Sinkhole

I have previously shared of what I have received from the current series being taught at our women’s ministry.  The posts have become sporadic on this topic because the majority of the subjects (not all) and how they are presented is directed to wives and mothers.

This past week the topic was seed: five and spoke of going around the sinkhole rather than over it.  Albert Einstein is thought to have said  that the definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”  I sat wondering what this “sinkhole” represented for me in my own life.  Nothing came to mind and it’s not that I’ve arrived; I merely was not ready to hear what the Holy Spirit would reveal.

After two good nights sleep, surviving v-day and having a binge on vanilla cream cookies I could finally read my bible.  Doing so brought to mind the lesson from the women’s ministry.  Without asking…in my mind I saw a wedding band falling deep into this sinkhole filled with water.  My sinkhole?  The desire I’ve held for marriage.  For twenty-three years (since accepting Christ) I’ve wrestled with being “the single one.”  Sadly as I get older and move forward in ministry the load has not been easier to bear.

Within this vision (as with the video) I found myself finally turning around and making several right turns in order to be on the other side of this sinkhole.  I cemented over it, reached back and assisted so many other women who were stuck on the other side of their “sinkhole” as well.  As I write these words I am reminded of a song that has become part of our church theme for this year.  It’s simply entitled “Yes.”  Since December 31, 2012 as I sat in the chair reading the scriptures that would become the focal point for 2013 I have struggled with surrendering.  Struggled with truly saying “yes” and meaning it.  Struggled with laying it at the altar and actually leaving it there.  Going a different way means doing this in a manner that I have not done before.  I summarize with this poem.

 

Miles to Years

I’ve waited and I’ve waited

Some would say that it was all in vain.

I’ve waited on a promise yet fulfilled

Eyes filled with tears

A heart yearning to be filled.

With each step I take I no longer walk

But now I must run…

Run for each mile that I will soon be able to conquer.

Miles become months and months turn in to years.

Each mile represents each year

Of a heart yearning

A heart longing

A heart waiting

Waiting to be filled.

Miles turn in to years.

 

©Yevette C. Gooden

2/14/11

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