For years I’ve found myself in a job-like storm. Each step taken has been wrought with trials of many kinds. Health issues unimaginable, ignored by ministry leaders, speculation of who I am and death. Now as I sit here finding the courage to continue in this calling I must accept that the storm is over.
I’ve known for several weeks but was afraid to hope that after so long it really could be over. It’s almost like a trauma victim. Once the traumatic event has ended he/she must be coached and encouraged to remove themselves from where they are. For weeks I’ve emotionally drawn myself inward. Afraid to move forward, confront my fear of speaking without something “bad” happening and finally doing what I know to do.
I will admit that I am a much stronger person than I was when I was first called into ministry. Stronger physically, spiritually, emotionally and doctrinally. This reassures me that it was all for a purpose. I pray that my relationship with God flourishes because right now I suffer from the wounds of this storm. I see his hand in blessing me and know that it’s only the beginning. Job chapter 42 describes his awareness of God’s activity in his life along with forgiveness and restoration.
I now know that this is where I am. I’ve endured the trial and now I am resting on the other side. It is finished!